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I’m standing in formation, rifle in hand as an officer cadet, when I realized… I hate this.

The mosquitoes. The stink of perspiration. My camo uniform, stiff from layers of sweat dried up and drenched again.

Everyone says I should love this.

But I don’t.

The Underdog

Fresh out of junior college, I had applied for one of the most prestigious scholarships in the country. Some called it audacity. After all, I was that heartlander kid from a neighborhood school with a poor track record of moving up the social ladder.

Six high-ranking officers in stiff uniforms interviewed me. Six pairs of eyes scrutinized me like hawks watching prey.

I refused to cower in that tiny chair. I passed. Officially, the underdog.

Misfit

But I couldn’t fit in, mentally, physically, or socially.

The commander barked an instruction. Everyone rushed to follow it to the letter. I went through the motions, too.

But inside, a silent scream kept asking: Why? Why? WHY? I could see a better way. But nobody asked.

The jog up that 45-degree slope to the cookhouse three times a day drained me. Every morning, I willed myself to love it. Just a little more today. Endure the pain. Find the meaning.

No love came.

I did what I had to do. Learned to fire a rifle. Stripped and assembled it in record time. Completed the obstacle course.

Every milestone should have been a celebration but I felt nothing.

I was succeeding at something that didn’t fit. That’s worse than failing.

The Truth

To be fair, the military is a very caring environment. Commanders always checked in on our well-being. “How are you finding it? Anything you want to share?”

Because everyone else seemed to love it. So proud to be here. So honored.

So I didn’t dare be different. Stayed silent.

But standing in that sweaty formation, the truth I couldn’t admit finally surfaced:

I hate everything about this.

Not because I was weak. Not because I couldn’t hack it. But because this prestigious place was never for me.

Yet I stayed. Because I was terrified of the disappointment in my parents' eyes. So I bowed my head and pushed on.

5. The (Legit) Ticket Out

Then A-level results day came. Worse than expected.

The platoon commander called me in. His face was kind, but his words were final:

“I’m sorry Chuen Chuen. Rules are rules. You didn’t meet the bar. Pack up and leave in the next hour.”

I should have been devastated.

But sitting there in my sweaty, stinky camo uniform, all I felt was relief.

This was it. My legitimate ticket out.

I seized it and left.

Good Doesn’t Mean Right

Some would call this a failure.

For years, I did too. I thought something was wrong with me. Who gets the opportunity of a lifetime and feels secretly happy when it ends?

Here’s what I’ve learned since:

Good and right are different things. A good job might not be the right job.

The military wasn’t wrong. It was wrong for me.

Strengths Are Your Clues

Years later, I discovered CliftonStrengths while training to be a professional coach. And everything finally made sense.

Your strengths profile is the biggest clue to what you love, what drains you, and how you find your best work and life.

Discover strengths in Offscript Society

Ideation explained why I always love to ask why. That silent scream of Why? Why? WHY? wasn't defiance. It was my brain wired to question, to find a smarter path. Rigidity stifles me. I need experimentation, not blind obedience.

Individualization explained why I need to be seen as a unique person: Remember those check-ins? I stayed silent because I didn't dare be different. But that silence was killing me. I need an environment where it’s safe to stick out like a sore thumb.

Nothing was wrong with me. The box was wrong for me.

If you have ever wondered why you’re not happy in a “good” position, perhaps your strengths will be your biggest clue.

To Lead, Excel, and Overcome

26 years after I failed at my scholarship bid, I returned to the military school. This time, as an executive coach to support their top 0.01% personnel.

The Major drove passed that accursed 45-degree slope as he gave me a lift into the camp. I felt pride bursting in my chest.

I might not have served in uniform. But by fully leaning into my strengths, I found a different way to live up to the motto: To Lead. Excel. Overcome.

This path wasn’t what anyone expected. But it was uniquely mine.

Your Turn

If you’ve ever succeeded at something that felt empty, or secretly wished for a way out of a “good” opportunity… I want to assure you: nothing is wrong with you (and you’re not being ungrateful.)

Your strengths are the key to designing a life you love and work you enjoy.

If you want to discover your strengths, now’s the opportunity.

Join Offscript Society and get your full CliftonStrengths 34 assessment free with your yearly subscription.

Then bring your results to our Strengths Clinic on 26 Feb, 4:30 pm SGT—where we’ll decode what your profile reveals about the cage you’re in and the path that’s actually yours.

Join Offscript Society

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005 | I Got Better at Public Speaking but My Anxiety Got Worse. (Here’s what finally fixed it.)

Many leaders I work with are busy recovering from all the action of December, and the moment the clock strikes 12, they feel like they need to get up and charge ahead into the new year.

But does a new year really deliver a new you?

I caution against charging ahead at full speed because, without tho…

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1. Talent envy

2. Misunderstanding definitions with layman's language

3. Pigeonholing others

4. Full on "toxic authenticity”

5. Dishonouring your talents

I share remedies quickly.

Bring your questions to the next clinic session in 2026 …

Read more

📌 Society (VIP) Exclusive Webinar: Speaking Success Protocol – Deconstructing My Best Speech (That Got a Standing Ovation and Bye to the Speaking Jitters!)

Join Society and Let's Break the Cage

If you’ve been hiding behind the label of “introvert,” this one’s for you.

I thought I could build my business without speaking publicly. Work with leaders one-on-one, write books, and stay behind the scenes where it is safe. But here’s what I’ve learned (and what I always tell fellow introverted leaders): if you want real impact in your career, you have to get visible.

Here’s the reality: Big stages. Real scrutiny. You will be judged.

But that’s a worthy price to pay, if your message goes further, and you make a more positive impact on the world.

So, time to stop hiding.

You can’t skill your way out of a psychological trigger

The biggest problem I faced since 2022 was the intense meltdowns that occurred before every speaking event.

Lost sleep. Lost appetite. Sometimes for weeks before a single event.

But like many of you, I was so good at concealing my fears and putting on a strong front that no one knew. And I mean no one.

Here’s the ridiculous part, though:

I was already good at speaking in front of an audience. For 14 years, I spoke creatively, engagingly, off the cuff every day as a teacher. I even have a wicked sense of humor and make people laugh spontaneously!

So when I finally confided in some childhood friends about my speaking anxiety, they were baffled: “You spoke in front of students every day for 14 years. How is speaking to adults any different?”

That question broke everything open for me.

Because they were right—I already had the skills and personality. The fear was coming from somewhere else entirely.

But barking up the wrong tree, trying to fix a psychologically rooted problem by going nuclear on public speaking courses, or spending 60 hours rehearsing for a 60-minute speech, was exactly how I was destroying myself.

This is the exact problem I see in leaders everywhere: when we face a challenge, we look for the solution outside, when actually, we need to look inside.

Things came to a point where I knew the next speech was going to send me into a mental breakdown, I might never recover from.

That’s when I decided to change my approach completely.

The Courage to be Seen (On Stage)

Fast forward three years. April 2025. I’m standing on stage in Osaka, Japan, in front of 250 people at a global summit. Blinding spotlight. No slides. No notes.

And for the first time in my speaking career, I’m not terrified. Here’s what happened:

When I looked back, the real win wasn’t the standing ovation, but by delivering a message I truly believed in, and feeling fully myself.

Listening to the words reverberating in the ballroom, I got goose bumps.

This was one of the first times I felt fully capable and comfortable to reveal my true self.

The irony was that I didn’t need to go crazy preparing. I only needed to prepare in a way right for me.

Without forcing and by simply allowing, everything finally fell into place.

Developing Your Own Speaking Success Protocol

The thing was, I took three years to discover my speaking success protocol.

And you don’t have to wait for three years.

I made a webinar specially for my Society (VIP) members. I hope you will join me because with the right approach, you can find comfort and ease speaking to hundreds, thousands very quickly.

That’s taking a shortcut out of needless suffering.

In this 45-minute webinar, I reveal the Speaking Success Protocol that took me from invisible meltdowns to ease on stage.

This session is especially valuable if you’re a leader who wants visibility but freezes when the spotlight’s on you. If “practice more” hasn’t fixed your speaking anxiety (and maybe even made it worse). If you know you’re qualified but still feel like a fraud every time you’re invited to speak.

Here are the 3 steps I walk you through:

1. Deconstruct your fear
Your anxiety didn’t appear randomly—it has a specific origin. And until you find it, no amount of training will help. I’ll show you the exact questions to ask yourself to trace it back to the source.

2. Turn your fears into goalposts
Most people try to eliminate what scares them. I did the opposite. Flipping the script, I turned my greatest nightmares into success metrics I can actually control. Instead of being “perfect”, I made myself “perfectly capable” in handling anything thrown my way.

3. Build YOUR skill stack
My game-changing skill was the Leadership Storytelling. Generic speaking advice often fails because we all require different skills. I’ll show you a set of what works for me, so you can then build a personalized skill stack based on YOUR triggers, YOUR communication style, YOUR definition of success. With that, you’ll find the courage to be fully seen.

Two ways to get the webinar

1. Single webinar USD 59

   Speaking Success - Single Webinar USD 59

2. Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and get a complimentary CliftonStrengths 34 assessment (worth USD 59.99), AMAs on maximizing your impact, unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats.

Free Webinar + Strengths assessment

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

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Check out the rest in this series on Breaking Up With the Fear of Public Speaking

1. The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar (Free for Offscript Society (VIP) Members)

2. Live on Substack with Public Speaking - Getting Started

3. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Personal Brand

4. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Expecting the Unexpected

5. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking – The Corporate Skillstack

The Three-Step Process:

1. Deconstruct your fear - Understand its origins a…

Read more

P.S. My learning from the first live!

• position yourself further away from the camera!

• I (still) dislike my voice but that’s ok!

P.P.S. Anyone keen to get started with live videos? Reach out to me!

The webinars begin this month!

The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar:

21 September 9 p.m. EST || 22 September 2025 9 a.m. Singapore

After countless speeches and refinements, I've perfected a protocol that actually works—proven by the standing ovation at the WIT Global Summit.

For the first time, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact speech that transformed my walk of shame into a walk of fame. You'll see my Speaking Success Protocol in action, decision by decision, word by word—from opening hook to final applause.

What you'll get in this live session:

→ Complete speech deconstruction with my personal commentary on every difficult choice I made

→ The storytelling techniques that turned my deepest fear into my greatest strength

→ Protocol implementation in real-time—exactly how I applied each of the three protocols throughout the presentation

→ The "obvious but missed" techniques that separate good speakers from unforgettable ones

Live Q&A included—bring your speaking challenges and get personalized guidance.

To join the webinar, you have 2 options:

Purchase a single webinar: USD 59

Get behind-the-scenes

Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and have unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats, Q&As, and events in Singapore. (Paid members can upgrade here, too.)

Join Offscript Society

Get more from Chuen Chuen Yeo in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

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"The most confident speakers I know are absolutely terrified before they perform. This isn't a contradiction—it's the secret."

The Walk of Shame

The lights turned on. I walked onto the stage, heels clicking as they hit the parquet flooring, echoing through the hall. The audience ceased their chatter, and anticipation filled the air. My heart was pounding like a trapped deer in my chest. I tried to calm it using box breathing, but nothing was working.

I started. Hours of preparation all for this one moment. I felt scrutinized under the intense light. It didn't help that I spoke immediately after a speaker I felt intimidated by. Compared to her, I was nothing.

"Do I look stupid and incompetent compared to the previous speaker?" I asked myself. But it was too late to back out now.

With half my mind worrying about looking stupid and incompetent, the worst thing that could happen to a speaker happened. I forgot the next line.

I stopped, pretending the pause was planned and thoughtful, but inside, I was scrambling. My brain searched every corner of my mind, trying to recall the line. Miraculously, it popped into my head. To cover up my mistake, I spoke with more gusto, and my cheeks burned from the effort.

But was that actually the flush of shame reddening my face?

As my last word reverberated through the hall, the audience broke into rowdy applause. I smiled stiffly and waved as I walked off the stage. But as soon as I lowered my gaze, it instantly felt like a walk of shame.

Because I had failed. Despite all the hours of practice, I had forgotten my line.

What I didn't know then was that my mistake wasn't the problem—the story I told myself was.

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The Destructive Relationship with Performance

But who could blame me?

In my work with leaders, I've learned that most fears have origins—whether it's the fear of public speaking, speaking up at work, or living under constant judgment.

For me, that origin was a hauntingly familiar and destructive pattern from my days as a concert pianist: over-practice to perfect a piece, become anxious while performing, make a mistake because I was worried about making mistakes, then walk off the stage in shame.

Under a notoriously harsh and emotionally unstable teacher, mistakes were not tolerated. I remember the performance when the worst thing that could happen to a pianist happened.

My fingers, stiff with anxiety and fear, struck the wrong note. I managed to make it to the end without breaking down and walked off the stage in shame. The audience applauded—they were none the wiser—but I was terrified. Awaiting me backstage was the death sentence.

My music teacher wagged her finger at my face angrily. Her shrill voice still rings in my ears: I was devoid of talent. A disappointment. Ungrateful to her kindness for teaching me despite being so untalented.

My one wrong note wasn't just a mistake—it meant I was a mistake.

Eventually (luckily), she grew tired of my mediocrity and passed me off to another teacher like unwanted trash. My compassionate new teacher tried to rebuild my confidence, but the damage was already done.

Eventually, my piano went silent forever. When I started working, I grabbed the chance to stop playing. "Too busy," I claimed. But the truth was: I never wanted to be under scrutiny again.

The fear didn't stay confined to music. For years, I avoided any stage, any moment where I might be judged and found lacking. It affected everything—my ability to speak up in meetings, to present ideas, to put myself forward for opportunities.

Performance anxiety had become life anxiety.

But life, in its wicked ways, always has other plans.

At 37, I ventured into entrepreneurship and found myself speaking on stages once again. Like coals that had never cooled, the performance anxiety came rushing back as if it had never left.

Rewriting the Story We Tell Ourselves

Desperate for a cure, I enrolled in speaking programs.

At one program, I shared that I was there to overcome my fear of public speaking. My classmate, an accomplished actor, said something that shattered everything I believed:

"The performance anxiety is something that will always be there. Even for actors. We learn to give it another meaning, another story."

Instead of hopelessness, I felt instantly relieved. I realized I'd been treating fear like a disease when it's actually part of being human. The real problem wasn't my fear—it was the faulty story in my head: that I needed to be perfect to be worthy. Just like my harsh piano teacher had convinced me decades earlier.

That's when I understood: we need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about what our emotions mean.

I see this same transformation in my Leadership Storytelling work. When I ask participants to write their "failure stories," something powerful happens. One leader told me the exercise transformed her biggest professional setback from a source of shame into a learning story that actually strengthened her credibility and conviction.

Research confirms this: when leaders reshape failure narratives, they turn setbacks into fuel for innovation. When we stop seeing mistakes as evidence of our permanent inadequacy and start seeing them as proof of our courage to try something meaningful, the fear naturally diminishes.

Speaking Success Protocol Webinar

My Speaking Success Protocol

Understanding that fear was natural was only half the battle. I still needed to learn how to work with it practically. But first, I had to rewrite the fundamental story I was telling myself.

My New Story

Instead of "My fear means I'm inadequate and don't belong here," I learned to tell myself something completely different:

"I'm not here to perform and show that I'm worthy, but here to serve and share a message I truly believe will benefit humankind."

This shift changed everything. I wasn't on that stage to impress anyone or demonstrate my value. I was there because I had something meaningful to offer—something that could genuinely help the people in those seats.

The same hammering heart that used to signal "you're about to be judged" now meant "you're about to serve." The fear was still there, but it had a different job: reminding me that what I was sharing mattered enough to make me feel something profound.

Through many honest conversations with myself and my coach, I developed three performance standards that supported this new story:

Protocol 1: Connection Over Perfection

I stopped obsessing about flawless delivery and focused on two key elements: engagement and storytelling.

Did I create shared moments of laughter or recognition? Did my stories make people feel heard and seen? Success became about connection, not perfection.

Connected audiences become co-conspirators in your story—they laugh with you, lean in, and leave inspired.

Protocol 2: High Performance Routines

I got serious about protecting my energy and peak state before presentations. I said no more often, avoided energy drains like social media doom-scrolling, and created routines that supported optimal performance when it mattered most. Understanding my Cliftonstrengths answered a big part of the puzzle.

Understanding your CliftonStrengths helps you find the shortcut to your peak performance.

Protocol 3: New Perfectionism

Instead of manic over-rehearsal (I once practiced 60 times for a 60-minute keynote!), I channeled my perfectionist tendencies productively. I listed everything I feared could go wrong and prepared strategically for each scenario—forgotten lines, technical failures, hostile audiences. This gave me confidence without the anxiety.

Old Perfectionism: Doing everything perfectly.

New Perfectionism: Perfectly prepared for anything.

I will write about these in the subsequent posts so stay tuned.

The Walk of Fame

The real test came at the Women in Tech Global Summit. Three hundred people. I was nobody in that room, but I had my Speaking Success Protocol to guide me.

Backstage, my heart hammered just as violently as it had on every stage before. But this time, I said hello to the fear instead of fighting it. I walked onto the stage knowing I'd applied all three protocols—I was as ready as I could be.

As I spoke, I felt the familiar flush in my cheeks. But this time, I knew what it was—not the burn of shame, but the heat of being fully alive, fully present, fully engaged in something that mattered.

When I finished, the audience rose in a standing ovation. To my surprise, I was called back because they wouldn't stop clapping.

As I walked off the final time, I realized: my walk of shame had finally become a walk of fame.

The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar:

Immediately available to Society (VIP) Members when you upgrade today.

Unlock Speaking Confidence

After countless speeches and refinements, I've perfected a protocol that actually works—proven by the standing ovation at the WIT Global Summit.

For the first time, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact speech that transformed my walk of shame into a walk of fame. You'll see my Speaking Success Protocol in action, step by step.

What you'll get in this webinar:

• A reframing protocol that replaces self-doubt with certainty — You’ll learn to silence “Am I good enough?” and know that being invited means you’re already qualified. You’re there to share, not impress.

• Your personal success blueprint from your biggest fears — Turn what terrifies you most (silence, blank stares, feeling unsafe) into 2-3 concrete metrics you can prepare for and achieve every single time you speak.

• An authentic skill stack that creates lasting influence — Master leadership storytelling and engagement techniques designed for YOUR style, so audiences remember you for substance and impact — no performance required.

Two ways to get the webinar:

1. Purchase as a single webinar: USD 59

Get behind-the-scenes

2. Or join the Offscript Society (VIP) and get a complimentary CliftonStrengths 34 assessment (worth USD 59.99), AMAs on maximizing your impact, unlimited access to expert webinars and replays, Society chats.

Become a Society Member

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

Share

Have a question? Post it in the subscriber chat.

Here’s the lineup of events under the series “Break Up With Your Fear of Public Speaking”

1. The Speaking Success Protocol Webinar (Free for Offscript Society (VIP) Members)

2. Live on Substack with Public Speaking - Getting Started

3. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Personal Brand

4. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking - Expecting the Unexpected

5. Live on LinkedIn: Public Speaking – The Corporate Skillstack

Years ago, I coached Penny, a senior director who told me:
“I want the formula that will turn me into the inspirational leader I’m destined to be.”

Like many high achievers, Penny believed there was a secret recipe for leadership. But here’s the truth: there isn’t. Skills and formulas can help, but they don’t create lasting transformation.

If you’ve watched Kung Fu Panda (one of my favourite stories in Leaders People Love), you’ll know what I mean.

Po trained relentlessly, hoping to be worthy of the legendary Dragon Scroll—the supposed formula to becoming the Dragon Warrior. But when he finally earned it and unrolled the scroll, it revealed nothing but a golden mirror.

His reflection.

👉 The message? There’s no fixed formula. The secret is already inside you.

START HERE IF YOU’RE READY TO DISCOVER YOUR VALUES 👇🏻

Why Start with Values?

After 3,000 hours coaching leaders across 40 countries, here’s what I know:

• Skills aren’t enough. Hard skills get you noticed; values keep you trusted.

• Authenticity matters. Leadership isn’t copy-paste—it’s lived from the inside out.

• Values fuel resilience. When challenges hit, your values are the anchor that keeps you steady.

That’s why the values exercise is always one of the first I ask leaders to do.
And yet, I’m still surprised at how many adults have never discovered their values. No wonder they feel stressed and overwhelmed by constant disruption.

Enter: Authentic Values Discovery

This is one of the first tools I’m releasing in Offscript.

👉 Once done manually in coaching sessions, it’s now powered by AI to give you an interactive, personalized experience. (Access it here.)

Because if you’re leading without knowing your values, you’re building on shifting ground.

So back to my question: Are leaders born or made?
I don’t know.

But I do know this:
If you don’t know what you’re made of, the best version of you cannot be born.

Use the tool. Discover your values. Build your foundation.

P.S. For today, discover your values and tell me how it went! This tool is still in BETA so tell me the kinks if you discover any! Drop me a comment, a DM, a WhatsApp – whatever works for you!

Upgrade and get 30% off

This may surprise you: The most dangerous career killer isn't lack of talent—it's how you handle rejections.

I nearly abandoned my coaching business after one prospect said no. One.

After 14 years of teaching authority, where students listened and parents respected me by position, business rejection felt like personal annihilation. The shame was so crushing I wanted to disappear forever.

That dark voice (hello, inner critic) whispered: "You're not good enough. Who are you to think a former math teacher could make it as an executive coach?"

Until I discovered something that changed everything...

The Story That Rewired My Brain

One day, as I grudgingly studied "sales and marketing," while (still) moping around, I heard something that stopped me cold.

A coach named Rich casually shared how he'd been rejected 73 times before landing his first yes. Seventy-three.

The kicker? He said it with pride, like a badge of honor.

My one rejection versus his 73? Why was I drowning in shame while he sounded almost... excited?

That question wouldn't leave me alone.

Why Rejection Hijacks Your Brain

Here's what I discovered: when rejection hits, your brain treats it like physical pain. It launches into fight-or-flight mode before rational thought can intervene.

If you've felt your heart race or cheeks burn with shame after hearing "no," that's not weakness — that's survival wiring. For our ancestors, social rejection meant death.

Each new rejection reopens old wounds.

But here's the breakthrough: healing those wounds is what frees you to succeed.

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The Defense Trap That Sabotages Success

When threatened, we unconsciously armor up to protect ourselves. But that protection becomes a prison.

My defensive cycle looked like this:

• Fear → Hypervigilance (scanning for threats everywhere)

• Misinterpretation → Seeing rejection where none existed

• Overreaction → Shutting down or snapping back defensively

• Real damage → Actually creating the rejection I feared

• Repeat → Stuck in the same destructive loop

I've watched talented leaders fall into this trap — afraid their ideas will be shot down, they become defensive, creating the very rejection they were trying to avoid. Sometimes, on the other end of the spectrum, it stops them from putting their hands up for bigger jobs just so there’s no chance of getting rejected.

The Turning Point

After hearing Rich's story, I faced the truth: I hated how fragile I'd become. Every question felt like an attack.

I had two choices: retreat to teaching (though I'd already given away my materials) or figure this out.

Because the shame of asking for my materials back from my former colleagues would be too much to bear, I chose to hunker down and make my new career work.

That's when it clicked: Rich didn't see rejection as the opposite of success. He say it as a part of the process to achieve success.

The difference wasn't our skills. It was our relationship with rejection.

My Breakthrough: The Re4 Method

I didn’t break up with the fear of rejection alone and worked with a coach. I was struggling and knew I had to get help because I can’t overcome this alone.

Together, we studied a few of my stellar rejections and did a retrospective analysis. Along with it, she helped me shift my mindset, and that made rejections sting less. (If it helps you, I’m opening just three slots of single sessions to help you with your fear of rejection whether it’s in sales or at work.)

To simplify the process, let me offer you the Re4 framework from my book, 8 Paradoxes of Leadership Agility.

Step 1: Reconstruct the Map

Recognize multiple truths exist.

A "no" doesn't mean "you're not good enough." It could mean timing, fit, budget, or a dozen other factors.

If you allow yourself to see other truths, you'll find rejections less stinging. Contrary to popular belief, it might not be you after all.

Step 2: Refresh the Lens

Challenge your assumptions.

Instead of: "They rejected me because I'm not qualified," or "They hate me!" Try: "This wasn't the right fit" or "Perhaps they'll be generous to give me valuable feedback if I ask."

If you jump to the assumption that rejections mean people reject you as a person, you're missing out on many good people in the world you can learn from.

Feedback is a gift, just ask.

• What's the worst they can do to you?

• Not answer the question, which is a pretty mild response, to be honest.

Step 3: Renew Your Identity

Choose a better role.

For a long time, I was the sage – the expert whose word should be accepted without question. Being questioned made me angry.

So I switched. At 38, I was a student entrepreneur with much to learn.

Once I embraced being a student again, the sting of rejections disappeared.

Step 4: Rebuild Your Capabilities

Turn every "no" into a growth blueprint.

Each rejection became data:

• What was the real reason they said no?

• Where did I lose them in conversation?

• How can I improve next time?

I sharpened my skills in building trust, reading cues, and making complex ideas simple.

The Transformation

Over time, I got my YESes (Thank goodness it didn't take 73 rejections to get there.)

Nowadays, if a prospect asked: "How do I know you're the right coach for me?"

Old me: "Well, I have 14 years of experience..." (defensive edge)

New me: "Great question. Let's explore that together..." (curious openness)

The difference? Night and day.

Each rejection became a step forward, not back. I stopped defending my ego and started protecting my growth.

The Lesson That Changed Everything

Rejection isn't anti-success. It's an essential raw material of mastery that leads to success.

Every "no" teaches you something a "yes" never could.

The question isn't whether you'll face rejection. It's whether you'll let it shrink you or strengthen you.

Choose growth. Choose curiosity. Choose to be a student again.

Your breakthrough is waiting on the other side of your next "no."

P.S. "Speaking of breakthroughs - I didn't break free from rejection fear alone. I had a coach who helped me do exactly what I've shared with you today. If you're ready for that kind of support, check this out.

Personalized Strategy Session (Only 3 slots available!)

If you're tired of letting past rejections dictate your future decisions, I'm opening up three personalized strategy sessions to help you extract the competitive intelligence hiding in your "nos." I had the support of a coach, and I want to offer support to you too.

These aren't for everyone - just leaders ready to stop nursing old wounds and start leveraging them for strategic advantage.

What makes this different? Instead of avoiding rejection or pretending it doesn't hurt, we'll discover what your rejections are trying to tell you.

Investment: USD 680 (Paid subscribers and Offscript Society (VIP) Members receive 30% off as my way of saying thank you for being part of this community.) (Discount code is already in your DM!)

Book Your 1-to-1 Strategy Session

What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree or disagree? How has fear of rejection shaped your leadership journey? Do you find yourself avoiding certain conversations, opportunities, or decisions because of past "no's"?

What else should we consider when breaking free from rejection paralysis?

Leave a comment

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

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Join OffScript Society, an exclusive community of change-driving leaders with access to upcoming masterclasses featuring proven strategies from my global coaching practice across 40 countries. Members also receive expert webinars, leadership Q&As, and exclusive discounts on intensive training programs.

This week's focus: mastering trust and influence without authority—the critical capability for leaders who must drive transformation and secure buy-in across organizations where titles don't guarantee results. These skills will amplify your personal influence in every professional and social context.

What’s coming in August: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

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If you haven’t read this issue, here it is 👇🏻

After teaching Leadership Storytelling along with Influence and Persuasion, I've realized one of the biggest limiting factors for leaders is leading with knowledge.

This applies both within organizations and outside.

Here are the tell-tale signs:

When people object or disagree, they hit back with more evidence: data, examples, past experience

Hungry learners who pursue knowledge often overshare knowledge that people don't connect with. My copywriting coach called that the "firehose" approach. Instant turnoff.

When speaking to an audience as an authority, they pack the talk with too much info (I still fall prey to this as I have Input as one of my top CliftonStrengths, so it's a constant reminder for myself)

What will help leaders become more effective is if they can:

• Share knowledge in a simpler, understandable form relevant to the audience

• Place CONNECTION above CONTENT

Warmth and likeability need to come before being knowledgeable, in my experience.

The real risk is that knowledgeable people can also easily sound condescending (big NO NO).

So let's leverage the Trust Triangle and take things from theory to practice.

P.S. If you've heard of Socrates' Ethos-Pathos-Logos model, this is a modern upgraded version.

P.P.S. Some people confuse Pathos (emotional) with showing all your raw emotions. Big mistake. If you speak on stage, the last thing you want to do is "do therapy on stage."

Here goes. 👇🏻

Read more

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After 14 years as a math teacher, I had a superpower I didn't know I possessed: instant authority.

When I spoke, 30 teenagers immediately went silent. When I asked a question, hands shot up. When I gave instructions, they were followed.

Then I became an entrepreneur.

Suddenly, I was talking to potential clients who checked their phones mid-sentence. I was pitching to prospects who 'had to take this call.' I was networking with people who forgot my name before I finished introducing myself.

The brutal truth: I had never learned how to make people want to listen to me. I only knew how to make them have to listen to me.

Without a classroom, a title, or a captive audience, I was about to discover what real influence actually looks like.

The Credential Trap: Why Smart People Get Ignored

Here's a myth that’s sabotaging people everywhere: Smart people get listened to. Experienced professionals command respect. If you're competent and credible, people will naturally want to hear what you have to say.

Most people believe that respect is given when you are competent and credible. Therefore, they grab every chance to talk about their qualifications, track record, and their abundance of knowledge. (That makes someone quite unlikeable, actually – McKinsey found in a survey that qualifications and humility have a negative relationship. DM me if you want the article)

This pattern showed up again and again in my coaching work: brilliant people who couldn't get their ideas heard. They'd lead with credentials, launch into lengthy explanations, and wonder why people's eyes glazed over.

I was making the exact same mistake back then.

Going back to 2018 as a lone entrepreneur, I tried my best to prepare, in a way I knew:

• I wrote out the common questions people might ask.

• A lengthy response to educate people about what coaching was and was not.

• A list of people I'd worked with.

• The cases I'd worked on successfully.

Of course, everything fell apart.

I realized at one of my ramblings that people cannot retain anything I told them. Because 10 minutes into the conversation, when I introduced myself as a "coach", this guy in the navy satin blazer asked, "So what is it you do again?"

I needed a different strategy. I needed them to not only listen but also REMEMBER what I said.

The Trust Triangle: Three Elements That Make People Listen

I found this framework as I was putting my influence and persuasion, storytelling, and high-performing team culture content together.

It made everything click.

The sole purpose of communication is to exchange ideas and one key ingredient is trust. If you're not good at gaining trust, you'll have a lot of friction everywhere you go.

Trust is the prerequisite of influence. Not unless you're a parent demanding your teenager to take out the trash (or else.) (but even then, there's trust hopefully.)

When you don't have positional authority, people make a rapid assessment about whether you're worth their time. That decision comes down to three quick evaluations.

1. Do you care about me? (Empathy)

• When you speak, who is at the center of the universe?

• Do you care more about what you want to transmit or how they receive it?

People always know when someone is pushing some message on them. And many who have a mind of their own or strong characters will shut off or launch into an attack.

If your audience reaches either state, there goes your chance of unlocking value from your network.

The impact of empathy on engagement is profound: 76% of people who received empathy from their leaders reported being engaged, compared with only 32% who experienced less empathy.

So instead of being too eager to speak about yourself, make an effort to be interested in people.

• What do they care about?

• What are their big priorities, goals, and dreams?

• What kind of person are they?

• How can you support them?

2. Are you real? (Authenticity)

People can spot a performance from a mile away. If you speak with the intention to impress, you might find yourself not very likable.

We roll our eyes when people name-drop like crazy. They think they're being subtle, but we know it's super obvious. Super cringe. (We'll talk about how to do that without becoming a peacock next time.)

If you wanna unlock the value of your network, don't be an a*s.

So instead of doubling down on what you bring to the table, share your beliefs. Or illustrate your values system.

I find sharing my pivot from teacher to global coach often a good segue into topics like resilience and skills evolution. When I speak about the why behind my mission, people light up. Their eyes glow because passion is contagious.

When you show the real you, you become magnetic. (Sometimes you can share mistakes and failures too – I'll talk about it another day.)

3. Are you making sense? (Logical)

Even with empathy and authenticity, if your message is confusing or irrelevant, people will tune out.

This is where competence finally matters.

But what most people get wrong is that what's logical to you might sound like rocket science or quantum theory to someone else.

To be heard, to be remembered, you need to organize your ideas in a clear, memorable, and valuable way to your audience. It’s not about right/ wrong. It’s about making sense to the listener.

So what I learned was to make my definition of coaching simpler:

E.g. it's like going to the gym and having a personal trainer. I'm like the personal trainer for your mind.

Or when I explain what I do in "agile leadership", it's helping leaders be relevant and effective in every context.

These get people to nod and muse, agree, and be curious. When the conversation opens up, you get the chance to win some allies.

Remember that guy in the navy satin blazer? He followed with a question and asked me HOW I help leaders. With his permission, I shared with him frameworks and mindset shifts.

He took notes and became an advocate.

Because the conversation made sense to him, he felt cared for, and he got my passion for leaders.

The Magic Formula: Empathy + Authenticity + Logic = Trust

When you combine all three elements, people don't just listen, they lean in. They remember you. They want to continue the conversation.

The right to speak and be listened to isn't given, it's earned. And it's earned through caring, being real, and making sense.

I hope this essay helps you reconsider your workplace relationships.

• Where have you built trust?

• Where is trust lacking?

Perhaps if you change your strategy, where you lead not with competence and credibility, you’ll find more success in influence.

But here's the caveat: to be authentic and logical, you need to understand your own values and strengths first. Without that foundation, you’ll find it hard to break out of people’s scripts.

Paid subscribers and Offscript Society Members —> Check out the companion exercise next.

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What’s your take on today’s topic? Do you agree or disagree? What else should we consider when influencing without authority? Do culture and social norms change the way you influence, with or without authority?

Leave a comment

If this helped you, sharing it would be the best thank you I could ask for.

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Join OffScript Society, an exclusive community of change-driving leaders with access to upcoming masterclasses featuring proven strategies from my global coaching practice across 40+ countries. Members also receive weekly leadership Q&As and exclusive discounts on intensive training programs.

This week's focus: mastering trust and influence without authority—the critical capability for leaders who must drive transformation and secure buy-in across organizations where titles don't guarantee results. These skills will amplify your personal influence in every professional and social context.

What’s coming in August: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Upgrade to Offscript Society

Subscribe now

1. The Script

I’m 46. But I’ve barely lived for a decade.

Up until 37, I followed a script I didn’t write.

Study hard. Get a good job. Be sensible. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t stand out. Don’t disappoint.

The truth is, I always knew I was a misfit. But where I grew up, obedience was the code. Conformity was safety. Deviation came at a cost—paid in quiet judgment:

“She quit without a plan? That’s reckless.” “Some people just don’t know when to be content.”

So I stayed in the cage. Checked the boxes. Played the part.

Fear was a master, and I was a coward.

2. The Crack

Then one conversation changed everything.

She was a UN country manager, dialing in from the Fiji Islands for a coaching call. Petite Asian woman, like me. But she had led across eight countries, sat in boardrooms I hadn’t dared imagine.

After one session, she told me our conversation shifted her entire trajectory. She realized she’d been following a script that no longer fit.

And something cracked open in me too.

Not because her story mirrored mine—but because I realized I had the power to change someone’s life in a single conversation.

I had a gift. And I’d been burying it behind someone else’s script.

3. The Trap

But here’s what nobody tells you:

Knowing your gift isn’t enough. Seeing the truth doesn’t set you free.

It took me three more years to resign.

Three years of knowing I was meant for something else—and still showing up to a life that no longer fit. Three years of feeling the pull, but staying put.

Because social conditioning doesn’t release you just because you’ve had an insight. Its grip tightens. The whispers get louder:

“Who are you to walk away from stability?” “What if you fail and prove them all right?”

I’m not alone in this. 85% of executives admit that fear of failure causes them to play it safe—even when they know change is crucial to survival.

We see the truth. And we stay caged anyway.

4. The Breaking Point

In 2014, I found myself on an operating table.

Doctors had found a large abdominal cyst. Benign, but surgery was required.

As the anesthesia took hold, one thought cut through everything:

“What if I don’t wake up?”

And then, sharper:

“I haven’t even started living for myself.”

That moment stripped away every title, every role, every expectation. What remained was a single truth:

The discomfort of staying had finally outweighed the fear of leaving.

5. The Reframe

Here’s what I’ve learned, slowly and painfully:

Breaking out isn’t a leap. It’s a shedding.

A gradual release of conditioning that was never yours. A reclaiming of your voice—and the courage to be loud about it.

But the shedding only starts when the discomfort is enough. When the cage becomes more painful than the unknown outside it.

For me, it took an operating table.

It doesn’t have to take that for you.

6. The Invitation

I created Offscript for leaders who feel the misfit in themselves—but haven’t yet found the crack.

Because I believe one conversation can change a life trajectory. It did for the woman in Fiji. It did for me.

Don’t wait for the operating table.

The shedding can start today.

Want to Go Deeper? Join Offscript Society

No, I’m not handing you a quick-fix playbook for instant success or overnight reinvention.

But I’ll offer you something more enduring—tools, stories, and frameworks to build a courageous leadership journey that’s truly yours.

As a member of Offscript Society (My VIP club), you’ll get a behind-the-scenes view of how I help leaders across 40+ countries navigate complexity with clarity and heart.

Here’s what’s already inside:

🏆 FREE CliftonStrengths assessment 34 (worth $59.99)

🎖️ AI-Chuen Chuen Values coach to help you discover your values and align your life

💎 First access to implementation guides + tools (that you can use right away)

🗣️ The Speaking Success Protocol”, to help you overcome your fear of public speaking and stand confidently in front of others.

This is not about having all the answers—it’s about practicing new questions together.

If you’re ready to explore what leadership looks like beyond the script... I’d be honoured to walk that path with you.

Let’s begin again—this time, on your terms. 👇

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Yesterday morning, a high-performing leader told me he watched a promotion go to someone who "speaks better" but knows less. Again.

Then another pinged me while I was having my mid-day tea, that double-checking the 13th time a message she was to deliver at the town hall on Monday. “What if I say something wrong? I don’t want to look stupid.”

This morning, the first message on my phone: “I’ve tried to be nice and accommodating, but how do I get my team to be less scared of me, and share their challenges? I wanna help them but they won’t let me!”

Does any of the above describe you?

Ever since my first clients at the UN in 2012, I thought these were individual struggles. Then the struggles began to repeat, and the patterns crystallized. Over the last 13 years, I had gathered so much content that it was enough to put into two books (8 Paradoxes of Leadership Agility and Leaders People Love.)

But corporate leaders today still face the same core challenges. Too many to count, too many to tackle all at once.

That's exactly why OffScript tackles this through three clear areas where every leader needs a reboot.

I wanna know where you wanna begin, so chime in below.

(SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM FOR THE POLL)

Three Core Pillars

Over the next few months, I'm rolling out content that dismantles the real barriers keeping people from leading effectively while staying authentic. Here's what's coming:

#1 🔥 Fear Breakup

People tell me how fears sabotage their daily interactions.

A VP got promoted and felt the crushing weight of being an impostor.

Someone won the biggest contract but felt anxious about exceeding expectations on the next deal.

Leaders who run tight ships lose sleep over details because they don't want to look bad in front of their bosses.

High performers struggle to ask for bigger opportunities because they don't want to deal with rejection.

Most career advice tells you to 'get over' your fears. That's useless advice.

Instead, we're dismantling fears from a research perspective, understanding how they show up in work and life, and constructive ways to break up with fears.

• The shame spiral that makes you overthink every contribution

• Authority fears that make you shrink at key conversations

• Imposter syndrome that keeps you playing small

• The perfectionism trap that prevents you from taking action

• The fear of public speaking and having weak knees every time you stand in front of an audience

Many more fears we can talk about, but let’s think about it as a bucket first.

Important to note that this isn’t therapy. My goal is to help you understand it and explore possible reframes. I will also share strategies that worked for me, as well as brainstorm something for you (for my paid members).

#2 ⚡ Rule Rebellion

We're exposing social conditioning and corporate norms that are actively sabotaging diverse talent:

People beat around the bush when giving feedback because "being direct is rude."

People find it hard to say no because "being responsible and dedicated is the gold standard."

Ramblers get promoted ahead of strategic thinkers because they look more "leader quality" (while wasting everyone's time in meetings.)

If the rules don’t fit, you might not be the problem. It’s time to rethink.

We're challenging the outdated scripts that keep capable people stuck in their careers:

• Why lack of trust (not logic) is the real problem in persuasion

• Why "speak up more" advice fails for culturally humble communicators

• Why we struggle to say no and become overly responsible aka working non-stop!

• How to develop "Main Character Energy" in your executive presence

• Why managing your energy is your responsibility, not your boss's

• Self-promotion strategies that honor your values and reverse social conditioning

#3 🌊 Culture Ripple

Real culture change happens when individuals stop waiting for permission and start creating the workplaces they want. This pillar is more skills-focused as it’s about driving change.

A manager stopped office gossip by redirecting conversations to solutions instead of problems.

A director created psychological safety by restructuring how feedback flows through the team, and innovative ideas increased by 200%.

A VP started rotating meeting facilitation among quiet team members instead of always calling on the same voices, and suddenly, breakthrough insights emerged from unexpected places.

Culture change can't wait for perfect conditions. It starts with bold leaders taking strategic actions, so I want you to stack the small wins.

We're learning how small, intentional moves create organizational transformation:

• Breaking negativity cycles that poison team dynamics

• Creating psychological safety that actually works for multicultural teams

• Building influence without formal authority through building trust

• Developing personal brand strategies that feel genuine to corporate professionals

• Becoming an audience-centric communicator everyone wants to listen to

Here's Where I Need Your Help

Which of these resonates most with where you are right now?

Are you stuck in the 🔥Fear Breakup phase, wondering how to stop overthinking your way out of opportunities?

In ⚡️Rule Rebellion mode, tired of following scripts that weren't written for you?

Or ready for 🌊Culture Ripple, knowing you can create change but needing the tools to make it happen?

Subscribe to join the poll:

Subscribe now

Drop a comment/ reply this email and tell me:

1. Which of the above topics stood out to you?

2. Any others worth considering?

Your input will shape how I approach each topic. This isn't just content—it's a movement we're building together.

P.S. If this post resonates, share it with another leader who's tired of playing by yesterday's rules. The more diverse voices we have in this conversation, the stronger our collective impact.

If you haven’t joined the subscriber chat yet, join us here:

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“Effectiveness is doing the right things. Efficiency is doing things right.”
— Peter Drucker

Welcome!

This is Post #000 as I prepare for the official launch. The first essay of Offscript drops on 1 July.

First of all, thank you for being here.
Some of you have worked closely with me. For others, this might be our first meeting. Either way, I’m grateful you’ve found your way here.

Why Offscript?

Offscript is a space for leaders who’ve outgrown fear and are ready for a mindset reboot.

Maybe you’re seeing outdated norms everywhere and feel compelled to change them faster, with more influence.
Maybe you’re ready to take an honest look at your fears, so you can release what’s been blocking your performance.

Either way, you belong here.

My goal?

For you to be relevant and effective in as many contexts as possible.
To become a Leader People Love. (Yes, just like the title of my book.)

How we’ll get there is by examining three key lenses:

• How you view and interpret the world

• How you relate to others

• How you see and lead yourself

Whether you’re a first-time manager, seasoned executive, or entrepreneur, these reflections will resonate with you.

My role is to offer you truths—sometimes hard ones, but always in a way you can handle. So that you can make the call:

To change or not to change?
To learn new skills or not?

The choice is yours. You are the master of your context, and you know what’s right for you.

I’m here to help you explore a better way to live, lead, and work. Less stress, more joy and definitely more impact.

How It Began

You might already know my story:

👋 I’m Chuen Chuen—a former math teacher turned global executive coach and researcher on the fear of failure in organisations.

After partnering with leaders in nearly 40 countries for over 3,000 hours, one truth keeps surfacing:

Organisations need agile leaders.

By my definition, agile leaders are:

• Authentic

• Perceived as trustworthy (not just by character, but through connection)

• Nimble in thought and open-minded

• Highly influential and deeply effective

Why?

Because the challenges today are manyfold:

• We lead multigenerational, multicultural teams, where no one-size-fits-all solution works

• Organisational change is no longer episodic; it’s constant

• Ways of thinking, working, and doing business have evolved

• Innovation is more important than ever, but companies are not ready (actually, their leaders)

Leaders today need to evolve in the changing context faster than ever, but the biggest issue I see?

Many are still using methods of the past to solve the problems of tomorrow.

They’re working harder and harder—yet feeling stuck.
They know the system is broken. But they don’t know what else to try.

And here’s the thing: there’s no silver bullet.

And I sincerely hope we’re not building systems of perpetual misery.

So the real challenge (and mission) for leaders…

• How do we become leaders the world needs now?

• How do we reinvent ourselves again and again, without feeling fatigued and disillusioned?

We need to stop looking for band-aid solutions because the answer is deeper than skills or strategy.
It lives in our heartware and headware—our beliefs, defaults, assumptions, and fears.

That’s why I created Offscript.
For leaders like you.

What’s Coming

In the posts ahead, I’ll tackle one issue at a time. We’ll explore what happens when we stop thinking about leadership as something you do, and become something you are.

I know, sounds a bit fluffy, so here’s a glimpse of what’s coming more tangibly:

• My Offscript journey—from conforming to becoming a maverick

• What my Rolex taught me about labels

• My transformation from nobody to somebody

• Battling imposter syndrome

• Why we struggle to speak up and be direct

• Finally overcoming the fear of public speaking

• Why the fear of being judged is getting you nowhere

• The lies about trust and influence

Join Me Offstage

If you stumbled across this post, I’d love for you to subscribe.
It’s free, and you can decide later if you’d like to upgrade.

Before Post #001 lands, you’ll already get to engage with other curious, growth-minded professionals—and help shape the stories I share.

If Offscript sounds like a conversation your friends or colleagues need to be part of, do share it with them.

Let’s grow a community of bold, thoughtful, Offscript leaders—together.

Click subscribe now and join a leadership movement that’s rewriting the rules.

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